Soft Power
by Kiwisilence
Summary: Miles succumbs to someone who is everything that Maya and Zoë aren't. Miles/Zig slash. Ziles.
1. Rumination

None of them really mattered: Zoë, Maya, and even Tristan. They were but names to be spoken, words to be used. Miles Hollingsworth III had never cared for them as more than friends.

But he still had played them, toying with their affections. The chase of each, with its rules of teasing and flirting, had been fun. It was tantalizing, worth far more than any lasting relationship. Each person offered a different flavor, but none had truly fulfilled him. Something was wrong with Miles; he was no longer a normal, caring person.

Zoë had the first of that group, and by far the easiest to pursue. They both fulfilled each other's fantasies: he, the son of a wealthy businessman soon to be mayor, and her, the beautiful star of a West Drive. Zoë longed to be a trophy wife; her looks, demeanor, and attitude were all in the pursuit of someone like him. She was nauseatingly shallow, but he still flirted with her.

His father would have been proud of Zoë for all of those reasons. Everything that made her the perfect match for a rich son made her a horrible person. Miles, if he admitted to himself, felt forced to be with her. His father would have accepted her...and him. Dating a girl like Zoë was like earning a trophy to his father.

Zoë tasted of Parisian coffee shops and late night strolls, but after a summer of that excess, he was too sick to date her further.

He then turned to Zoë's opposite, Maya. The blonde wasn't rich, nor was she as pretty. She was a geeky girl with charm: a dark, rebellious spunk that enticed him in ways the former actress of West Drive couldn't. Her sass was lovable: they had a shared sense of rebellion against their parents. Maya could have played the part of the nice, quiet cellist, but Cam's death had unleashed something within her. She was wild, a feistier spirit and lover than Zoë.

His relationship with Zoë was lukewarm compared to Maya, but still something was missing. The blonde didn't have the spark he unknowingly craved. Like Zoë, something was wrong with her.

So, after months of teasing and toying with Maya, he eventually thought about another student at Degrassi.

He should have realized sooner, but the abuse and pressure from his father had changed him. Dating Zoë had just been to win the approval of his father, but so was dating Maya. They were appropriate dates, but they never excited him.

They couldn't excite him like his fellow males.

Miles hadn't ever acted on those bubbling feelings nor addressed them. For so many years, he had become obsessed with becoming like his father despite constantly failing. Admitting that he liked men...romantically...had never made him feel so vulnerable.

He had to admit to himself that it didn't matter what his father thought. Miles' sexuality had never been more fluid and more terrifying. He didn't know where or who to turn to.

Until he thought of Tristan.

There weren't many openly gay student in the school. At least among the other sophomores. But Miles still didn't admit to Tristan that he too batted for the same team. He just couldn't. Something always made him pause and block that confession.

Tristan might have become a close friend after the summer and joining the basketball team, but he couldn't tell him. Miles didn't want to date the platinum blonde despite that he was leading him on. Tristan was ultimately just as vain and shallow as Zoë, despite that he was in the 'right' body. The gossipy teen would only hurt him if he came out and spurned his affections.

Miles could have came out to Chewy, but the nerd had never been the greatest with emotions. Upon looking back, Miles realized that him keeping Chewy around all these years extended beyond a normal friendship. Chewy might have been his first crush. Even their friendship dynamic was too dangerously flirty for Miles to have ignored this long. Chewy was straight, but Miles almost wanted to punch himself that he hadn't seen it before.

So many signs had pointed to him being gay.

But Miles couldn't accept that.

There was a party tonight and Miles wasn't above drinking away his inner feelings. Maybe he could numb himself into loving Maya, even Zoë. Maybe his father could love him...at long last.

* * *

Miles didn't really know who had thrown the party, but he definitely knew who was violating his mouth. They had found themselves into a empty room; the party's music still blaring through the walls.

They were drunk and almost senseless. Miles might have wanted this, but he doubted the male kissing him was coherent enough to say no.

Zig Novak might have surprised him into a kiss, but it wasn't as violent as he wanted to think it would be. It was tender, deliciously so. Almost like a sweet, warm honey connecting their mouths into passionate bliss. A kiss had never felt this soft yet intense to Miles. Zoë pretty much made him do all of the work when they kissed; she had the tender loving of a concrete brick. Maya was wild, but never tender. Zig might have been drunk, but he alternated between fast, bite-like teases and soft, long massages with his tongue. Miles tried imagining what Tristan would kiss like, but it could never have matched the reality of Zig pouring a radiant energy into him.

Miles' fears were bubbling up, almost spilling over. He kept enjoying the kiss, but his mind was coming closer to shutting down. He couldn't accept this.

He couldn't be gay. Drinking was supposed to have dulled these thoughts and feelings.

Zig Novak had not only stirred those feelings but magnified them. Heat was rushing to Miles' cheeks; his senses became even more numb. He needed to regain control. His head was throbbing.

"Stop." Miles' voice cracked as he pushed Zig away.

The other teen might barely be conscious, but he held a shocked pause on his face. Zig hadn't wanted to stop. That fact scared Miles to no end. This went beyond just being curious: another, real male wanted him. That desire made him unbearably uncomfortable.

"I...shouldn't be doing this."

"Just don't think about it then." Zig tried moving closer, but Miles pushed his hands against the other teen's chest in a childish effort to push him away.

Zig laughed. Even Miles could see how ridiculous he was acting. Zig was buff...a fact Miles was learning firsthand. He still hadn't moved his hands off of Zig.

"You can take your hands off of me...or keep them there...just to keep warm, right?" Zig's mouth broke out into a annoyingly smug grin.

Miles finally pulled his hands away, trying to appear stern. His composure failed. "We can't do this. My father..."

"I heard that already...and I don't think either one of us likes playing by the rules."

Before he could continue, Miles was swooped into another fervent kiss by Zig. Instead of fighting, he submitted. Since he had started this, he could at least enjoy it for the rest of the night.

There was no one else in this room besides them. No one from school, his family, and especially his father would see this. Instead of passively enjoying the kiss, Miles pushed himself into it, passionately returning pecks and gushes of their lips. There became almost a dance in their kisses: something delicate yet moving that Miles was becoming too easily addicted to.

Miles pushed away, taking a breath, before looking into Zig's eyes. He didn't really know the other boy, but maybe that was the point. Zig wasn't going to tell his friends or his father. No one would believe Zig. He was almost from a completely different world than Miles.

He cusped the back of Zig's head, leading into another kiss of many throughout the night.

Until he left, he could fully experience the true version of himself, without pretending for his father. He loved the feeling of Zig despite the fear of what could happen tomorrow.

Miles was undoubtedly gay and Zig might just make him love it.

* * *

AN: I was inspired to write Ziles (Zig/Miles) after reading "Trust" by Degrassi Nonsense. I'm wondering whether to write more chapters or keep this a one-shot.


	2. Sweet Strength

Chapter 2: Sweet Strength

* * *

There just had to have been a next day, a new chapter in the life of Miles. He sighed, almost not wanting to exit the car as he opened the door and strolled his way into school.

He wasn't ready for the day after.

_After him._

Zig's mouth had been too heavenly, too delicious. It still made his hairs stand on end. His body would not forget the pure joy of being around the other teen. It was beautiful and it was so god awfully wrong. He had never experienced greater love...and fear.

Miles straightened his posture, confidentially walking into school. He could at least fake his outer appearance and hide the mess of emotions he was in. If he acted normally, maybe everything could just go back to the way it was. Maybe he could forget about Zig.

Class was still over half an hour away. Instead of seeing Zig looming over at him, Chewy was the first familiar face he saw. He was glad it wasn't the other boy; he couldn't handle that emotional hailstorm this early in the morning. His emotions felt like a tidal wave, whipping and washing away his sanity.

"Hey Miles." Chewy said in his usual dorky tone. At least his friend hadn't changed, still just as normal and loopy as ever.

If Miles could admit it, he thought his friend was attractive. Winston Chu was cute and doe-eyed, but it didn't excite him as much as...other boys did. Zig was all hard-muscle and street attitude; it sounded cheesy saying it, but it was blindingly true. Zig was a hot man; Chewy was his friend but such a dork.

"Where's Maya?" His mind slipped back into focus, trying not to stir more thoughts about Zig.

"Don't know." Chewy puffed his cheeks like a fish.

His friend paused, looking at him strangely. It was as if Chewy could sense what happened last night...as if kissing Zig had marked him as different. It was ridiculous but he still felt a shiver of fear. Miles wondered what have it away: was his smell or even the way he stood different after just one night with Zig?

"Was it your father again?" Chewy thankfully interrupted his thoughts.

Miles almost didn't catch what that. It didn't make sense what his friend was trying to say. "My father?"

"You're tired and hungover. You might drink a lot, but you've had reason to." Chewy was getting slightly too serious for comfort right now. Maybe he wasn't as innocent and dorky as Miles wanted to believe.

"Nothing's wrong." His voice retorted too quickly. Everything was wrong, but he was above wrenching out his heart in the hallways of Degrassi. That was just tacky; he was not a lovesick schoolgirl with a crush on Zig.

"Right." Chewy drawled out, his eyes squinting inspectively.

"I went out last night." He hastily supplied.

"Without me?" Chewy might not have wanted to drink, but he usually followed and kept tabs on Miles. It was motherly and exactly the reason why he hadn't told him.

Enjoying the delicacy that was Zig's mouth would not have happened if Chewy had been there to think logically. Miles didn't know if he should have wished his friend had come with and stopped him or he really enjoyed that night.

Before they could talk further, Tristan swooped by, stopping to rest against a locker. "You look beat, Miles."

Tristan's body was too posed, as if he postured himself just for the attention of Miles. He didn't realized how he hadn't seen all those little signs sooner. Tristan practically performed for him: he platinum blonde would sashay, sway, and swirl just to be noticed. It was just like the affected poise of Zoë.

"I think I'll just pass out for my first couple of classes."

"But we're learning a lot in Media Immersion. You don't want to miss that." Tristan rolled his eyes, relishing in the sassy, sarcastic tone of his voice. Chewy laughed at the joke.

Miles didn't know if it was because of his feelings for Zig or how tired and hungover he was, but he was sick of dealing with the other two today. He almost wanted to just give up and pass out in the hallway, which would be pretty normal at Degrassi.

"Yeah, especially when I spent all night studying for Ms. Oh's class."

"You've spent all night studying Ms. Oh's..." Before Chewy could complete that rhyme, Maya finally came up to their group. She strutted up to them cheerfully, a confident bounce in her step.

"Hey Miles, what's this about Ms. Oh?" She smiled at him, bluntly ignoring the rest of her friends. It wasn't intentional, but it was obvious now just how much love she held for Miles. She only focused on him.

Maya was everything he could want in a girlfriend and it had never made him more ashamed and afraid to be around her. She was too good for someone as messed up as him. Miles wished he could be the perfect boyfriend for her and the perfect son to his father. On the other hand, he might just need to accept that he couldn't. In all honesty, Maya should turn her attention towards Chewy. He was a good friend and would be an even better boyfriend for her, as silly as he was.

At least Chewy hadn't locked lips with Maya's old fling.

"Just nothing. Our dear Chewy finally developed a personality and decided to make a joke. I'm so proud of him." He playfully hit his friend. "He's growing up so fast."

"Maybe a girl will even want to date him. Keep up with the achievements...like talking." Maya smiled: a wickedly internal laugh at Chewy's expense.

Everything could be simpler if Chewy and her just dated. Miles almost wanted to just mash them together and run away. Maybe he would even throw in Tristan and Zoë in that love heap just to get rid of them.

All so he could be with Zig...

Up until that point, Miles hadn't noticed the dark-clothed teen off in the distance. Once he caught the sight of him, he couldn't look away. His focus no longer held any concern for Chewy, Maya, and Tristan. He hated how weak he was, but even just looking at Zig brought back the feelings from last night.

Zig suddenly caught his eye, looking at Miles with a mix of pity and longing. He might just have met the boy last night, but Miles felt ashamed for how things had ended.

He had finally pushed Zig away and ran, leaving the party and returning home. His father had been away and wasn't home to yell or hit him, but he didn't know whether he was glad or upset that it didn't happen. Miles felt like he deserved it for straying with his thoughts. Zig was not only another man, but obviously poorer than him. Both of those reasons were something his father would loathe. He shouldn't be allowed to feel this happy.

His father would do anything to fix those thoughts out of him if he knew.

Miles gulped, his eyes still lost on Zig as he tried listening to his friends. Finally, he had to pull his head back, looking to the group around him. He just wanted to study the other boy all day. Maybe thoughts were better than actually acting on it...if he could control himself.

Miles had zoned out, but his mind quickly went into alarm as he turned his head back to his friends. They weren't speaking; they simply stared at him.

Maya held an unknowable look on her face. Tristan seemed oblivious, but Chewy had a knowing glint in his eyes. The two more intuitive of his friends could piece everything together if he kept staring at Zig like that. They would find out and there was no way they would accept him. Miles didn't want to believe anyone would.

"Do I have something on my teeth, because I'm pretty sure there's no reason for the gawking stares." He bit into his comment, not yelling but obviously angry at them. He couldn't handle their judgement.

"You were staring at him." Maya spoke in a monotone voice.

"Zig." He finished. He was afraid they would find out, but another side of him just wanted to admit it. That other half was angry at them and fully believed he deserved Zig. The other boy wasn't their's, he was Miles'. Last night meant something, as much as he wasn't sure how to feel about it.

"How do you know him?" Tristan quickly asked, as if this could start another round of gossip where he could trash Zig. "Maya and I used to be friends with him...like last year."

"I've met him around."

"I heard he's started dealing over the summer. He used to be nice and dated our friend Tori...but had a little klepto-problem." Tristan looked away, patting his hair at that last part.

A little klepto-problem in Tristan-lingo could have meant a bank robbery.

"He isn't that bad." The 'once you get to know him' was implied and wasn't lost on Chewy. His eyes opened, the pieces coming together.

"Did you party with him last night?" Chewy asked.

"So what if I did? Or are you going to pull this 'I'm better than you' attitude on me?"

"I was just asking a question, Miles."

He shouldn't have lashed out at his friend, but he just wanted to leave this conversation. In a perfect world, everyone could just leave him alone and let him assault Zig, who was standing too handsomely away for him to ignore.

"He's a bad guy..." Maya spoke as if she knew everything there was to know about Zig. She might have been his friend and held feelings for him, but she too easily forgot both. She had no right to judge the boy.

"I'm not exactly good myself."

Before anyone could talk further, the bell rang, and other students began rushing their way to class. In the herd of people, he slipped away, walking alone to class.

This would not be the end of the conversation for them.. He could avoid them now and collect his thoughts, but he would have class with all of them. Miles expected them to assault him with more questions and judgements about Zig. They had no right to probe at him when he wasn't sure himself of what to do with Zig.

Maybe they didn't suspect what had truly happened. They thought Zig was a druggie: there was no reason to think he had made out with Miles. Zig was the wrong crowd for someone as wholesome and good as Miles Hollingsworth III. It was exactly the opinion his father would have, but it would have been expressed with hits and kicks.

Zig wasn't a bad guy. If anything, Miles was too messed up and hateful of his own nature to be with a guy as good as Zig. He had left the other boy at the party, but maybe he should just talk to him.

It could be the start of something that made his stomach flutter with butterflies...or the end of his friends and family accepting him. Now, he was too interested in Zig to care.

Zig Novak was exactly the guy he had been looking for. They were both so different: rich and poor, thin and muscular, but Zig was stable whereas he wasn't.

Miles was a messed up boy looking for a light in the darkness of his life. He needed to shut down his fears and pursue some sliver of happiness.

He walked past people in the halls, heading straight towards Zig's locker. The other teen hadn't moved away, watching him this entire time. As he walked closer, Zig's face warmed up, his eyes embracing the sight of him.

"I thought you wouldn't want to be seen with me again."

"I'm sorry about last night..." He was shy, almost trembling. "I shouldn't have done that."

Zig sighed, slight annoyance flashing in his face. "You came here just to tell me that again? Where's this going to go? No I don't want it, but let's just kiss anyways? It's so bad, but so good..." He mocked him.

"No." Miles quickly interrupted, locking eyes with Zig. "I mean...I shouldn't have left you last night. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did."

The other teen was visibly shocked. "What do you want then?"

"I want you...us...whatever this is."

"But what about your 'father not accepting me.' I'm not starting a relationship with someone who is afraid of himself and what others think."

Zig didn't know the full extent of his father's abuse, but he at least knew that Miles' father was controlling. Miles hoped that Zig would accept the full him, not just the boy who was unsure about coming out, but a boy who had been physically and mentally wrecked by his father. In time, they could be something.

Enough people had left the hallways that Miles took one quick look around, before pushing his lips against Zig's. Instead of over-thinking about this and hating himself, he could learn to blissfully live in the moment.

He pulled away, looking into Zig's eyes. "I hope that answers your question."

* * *

AN: I decided to write another chapter! Seriously, thank you for the reviews. The drama, love, and smut is just too fun with Ziles.


	3. Flexible Fortitude

Chapter 3: Flexible Fortitude

* * *

To say he could barely think for the rest of the day was an understatement: his mind practically _glided_ on how happy he was. His emotions were raging out of control, turning him into a sappy pubescent mess, but he didn't care. He liked Zig Novak. That meant something to Miles.

Throughout the day, he was successful at avoiding Maya and Tristan. Much to everyone's surprise, he even sat by Zoë in several of classes if it meant not dealing with his friends.

Zoë was speechless; her usual poise eroded into shock. It was comical just how much her mouth gasped when he sat by her. Maya had glared daggers at them and Tristan just lived for the drama. Chewy seemed unfazed, but with a calm realization on his face.

Maya was a smart girl. She could have deciphered his hidden, gooey feelings of love for Zig, but she was too blinded. Maya was too interested in him, too hateful of Zoë, and Tristan only fed that drama. Maya could never look past herself and see that Miles didn't care for either of them. She might never find out.

But Chewy could.

Chewy must have known, his mind racing through the possibilities. Miles wondered just how long his friend had suspected that he was gay. Despite that, it should be surprising that Miles and Zig were becoming an item. No one should be able predict that; an end of the world prophecy seemed more reasonable. Miles somehow magically becoming the first male to become pregnant was even more realistic.

Miles refocused, taking in his surroundings. They were now in Mr. Perino's Social Studies class, listening to another dry presentation. Zoë sat next to him, gazing at him curiously. He caught her staring, causing her to quickly look away disheveled. Maya was somehow paying attention to the lecture, but Tristan was taking obvious glances back at him and Zoë, as if he expected them to start a wild, animalistic make out session in the back of the class. Chewy sat in the table in front of him, somehow paying attention and practically clinging to Perino's words.

This lecture couldn't have been that interesting. They were all just pretending and trying to avoid how weird Miles was acting today. It was as if there was a script written for their daily lives and Miles had burned it and rewritten a new one. He was going against all of the rules and deciding things for himself.

Zoë leaned closer, her eyes were looking confidently at him. "So why did you finally decide to sit with me?"

She was always arrogant. It might have made her a horrible girlfriend, but she was amazing in how unintentionally hilarious her ego could be. She must have thought he had not left her...he had been waiting for her all of this time. In her mind, he would come back. Zoë had no grasp on reality, she was a broken girl thrown out of West Drive. The woman from the land of television characters and soap opera plots wasn't exactly going to be normal.

Miles almost just wanted to hold her and yell that he would never love her. Her deluded mind would never accept that. She would believe he couldn't handle someone as beautiful and famous as she was. She would only want him more.

"I wanted a change of scenery." He didn't know what to say. He wouldn't rise to the bait; she desperately wanted to flirt with him.

"The scenery is certainly a lot more attractive in these parts." She paused, looking over to Maya and Tristan. "Some people belong with the trash...but not you and me of course."

Her words were so over the top, so deliciously outrageous it made him want to laugh. She was such an actress. Only someone like her could make him seem normal by comparison.

"They're not that bad."

"If you really believed that, you wouldn't be sitting with me." She was so smug. "You've come back..."

"I haven't."

"You're just coy. I know you want me. Everyone does."

"Like who?" Miles refrained from rolling his eyes and raising his voice. Luckily, the teacher still hadn't heard them. Mr. Perino could be stern, but usually he got too lost in his lectures to pay attention to his students. Unless a student was in the front of the class, storming out like only Zoë Rivas could, they wouldn't be noticed.

"Everyone. Just everyone." She spoke matter-of-factly.

"Someone's a little over-confident."

She smiled at him, almost laughing. "You and I are above them, Miles. I don't need to repeat that fact. Or let me give you a lesson on Social Studies and class. We're of a higher standing than common people."

"And yet you tried to be friends with Tristan...despite how lowly he is compared to you." He knew how to play her wars of words.

Zoë wasn't angry, but she playfully smirked. She still thought this was a game. "I can have my distractions...the queen knows good gossip and shoes."

Only Zoë Rivas could speak about Tristan as if he was an item to be collected, but Miles had been somewhat guilty of the same thing. If he were to be honest, sometimes he saw the other boy as less a friend and more so a feral gossip hound. The image was hilarious and true. It's not like he treated Tristan like a deep, meaningful person.

"I can't argue with that." He relented.

"But enough about him...we're talking about you."

"Not this again." Miles fought back a groan; he forced his face to remain apathetic.

"You sat with me...not Chewy, not Tristan, and especially not Maya."

"I told you, I needed a change in..."

She cut him off, not relenting this conversation. "You've come back to me. And I forgive you."

Zoë smiled: a true, almost evil grin as if it were announced that West Drive had rehired her. Winning Miles meant something to the actress. Too many people saw him as an object to be won and not who he was as a person. He was not the prize in a romantic quest for girls like her and Maya. It sickened him.

"I don't want that." His voice came out sterner than he had expected. Zoë stared at him confused.

"Yes you do."

"Not everyone wants you, Zoë." She could never believe him.

"Really? I'm not the one acting crazy here. You can't come back and sit with me after weeks of ignoring me. What is that supposed to say?" Somehow she still whispered, but there was an obvious string in her words.

Chewy turned around, staring straight at Miles. "Stop it before you get in trouble."

"We're just have a friendly conversation, aren't we Zoë?"

Unbeknownst to any of the three, Perino had swooped behind them, finally speaking. "I think we can have this 'friendly conversation' in detention after school. You three need to learn to pay attention. I expect today's lesson to be made up. Now moving on..."

Chewy groaned, glaring at Miles. His friend was definitely not up for putting up with his antics today. Miles almost expected Chewy just to throttle him. He deserved it.

Surprisingly, Zoë just smiled at Perino before looking at Miles. "I'm sure we'll have lots to talk about."

"Alright, Gatsby Garcia, save the drama for TV. Now returning to the lesson..."

Zoë looked like she was biting back the urge to lunge at their teacher. Ignoring her, Perino finally returned to the front of the class, rattling on just as he had done before.

Miles should have cared about getting in detention and what would happen if his father found out, but his mind returned to thoughts of Zig. Not even the people around him could compare to the boy.

* * *

After Social Studies ended, Miles returned to his locker. Maya and now Zoë were mad at him, they wouldn't suddenly swoop behind him.

Instead, Chewy appeared, breaking Miles' thoughts about Zig. "What's wrong with you dude?" There was a slight bite to his words. He was annoyed but also worried for his friend.

"Nothing. I had a late night last night. I'll be fine." He tried blowing it off, forcing his voice to be as apathetic it usually was.

"You not only sat by Zoë, but you picked a fight with her that landed us in detention. Obviously something's wrong." Chewy truly cared for him. Miles felt badly for keeping secrets, but he still wasn't ready. He still was too afraid of losing his friends and family if he came out. Maybe he could be with Zig but no one would have to know.

"I've just been off today." He purposely avoided elaborating. Chewy was only getting more annoyed.

"Tell me what happened. It's that Zig kid, right?"

"I just partied with him, Chewy."

"Just partying can mean a lot of things with you." That hit him, but he didn't want to rise and yell at his friend. He needed to stay calm.

"I'll be fine tomorrow."

"What did the two of you do last night?" Chewy folded his shoulders, trying to look more stern.

Coming from the dork, it was hilarious. Even though his friend was mad, those actions were why he enjoyed Chewy. He just wanted to go back to then joking and being friends. This conversation was getting too serious for him to handle.

"We just drank."

"Drinking has made you make some bad decisions...like Zoë." He just had to bring that up. Only a friend could know him so fully.

"You don't always have to be my mother." He didn't try to hide condescending Chewy.

"Just tell me...I'm your friend."

"You wouldn't believe me." His words slipped out before he could even grasp what he had said.

"Believe what?"

"Nothing. Everything's fine." He hastily corrected, trying to just get this conversation over with.

"You've been ignoring Maya. You even sat with Zoë and ignored her too. What happened with Zig?"

"Why do you need to know, Chewy?" Miles just couldn't take this anymore. His voice rose, but he still wasn't quite at the stage of just yelling at his friend. He wouldn't do that.

"I'm worried for you."

"You're worried but just as passive as you always are. Man up and go ask Maya out. Stop bothering me." It didn't make any sense, but it didn't really have to. Miles just needed an excuse to leave Chewy. He couldn't handle this assault of questions.

But he didn't leave; he just couldn't handle treating his friend this way. Miles practically froze in place.

"Maya?" Chewy gulped, confused. Something was wrong with his friend and he would get to the bottom of it.

"Nothing. Can we just stop talking about this?"

"Why aren't you interested in Maya anymore?" Chewy asked calmly, but the question felt like it cut into Miles, hitting something deep. A nerve was rupturing.

"People change." He purposely gave a vague answer, but this time, his friend wasn't annoyed. Miles was dangerously close to spilling what happened last night.

"You've certainly changed. It didn't take much to notice."

"What does it matter if I've changed? I'm still Miles." He should have realized just how obvious that sounded.

"Miles, you can just tell me. The others might not know, but the signs are there."

"Nothing happened."

"I don't think nothing happening involves you coming back to school drunk, tired, and with a hickey on your neck." His friend was angry, but also sarcastic.

They were hitting a breakthrough whether or not Miles was comfortable with that. Miles hadn't paid attention to his neck; all he could think about was last night. He should never have been that stupid.

"There could have been girls at that party." It took several seconds before he realized just how wrong that sounded.

"There is only one Zig though." Chewy's eyes widened knowingly. He no longer seemed angry.

"Yeah...there is..." Miles just needed to tell; the words slipped out. He gave his friend a small smile.

For better or worse, Chewy knew. Miles gulped, not quite ready to let that sink in.

* * *

AN: I just needed to throw in some drama. Sorry for not including Zig, but I will next chapter. I might have Miles' sister Frankie be tied into the story, so is everyone fine with that? She's had like one or two lines on the show. Lol.


	4. The Power of Pride

Chapter 4: The Power of Pride

* * *

Miles had hit a breakthrough with Chewy, but he wasn't up for sitting with his friend at lunch. He needed a break...preferably in the buff, musky body of Zig Novak.

He smiled to himself, walking over to Zig in the lunchroom. The other boy's usual friends were nowhere in sight. Miles wondered if Zig even really had friends since Maya and Tristan abandoned him. Zig might not even be friends with the other druggies; he seemed more like a middle man than the actual brains behind that operation. Maybe they only spoke with him if it involved a deal.

Zig Novak might just have been as alone as Miles was. Loneliness attracted loneliness.

Miles smiled, a slight flush forming on his cheeks as he sat down across from Zig at his lunch table. Chewy, Maya, Tristan, and Zoë weren't anywhere near them; Miles couldn't even care to look for his friends after seeing Zig.

"Hey." He spoke simply, but Miles beamed though his words.

He was terrified of these feelings, but some part of him had broken after talking to Chewy. Miles' guard was down; he could simply let himself feel this happiness shining through.

"I didn't think you'd sit by me, pretty boy." Zig teased.

"My friends are a little mad at me for the moment."

"Why? They can't stand you being around me?"

"They treat you like you're the big bad wolf. And somehow they think I'm the nice, innocent one, about to be corrupted by you." They both laughed.

"I don't think I did _all_ of the corrupting. You seemed pretty active with your kisses."

"I practically jumped you." He corrected, smirking.

"I didn't say it was a problem." Zig grinned. His smile had such a nice, roguish charm to it.

"So where are your friends? I don't remember their names...there was more important people at the party."

"I wonder who that could refer to?" Zig's eyes tried to feign surprise. "But they're not really my friends."

"It seems like they are. I doubt it's the first time you've partied with them."

"No, it's not, but that doesn't make them my friends. It's the booze that makes them my friend."

Miles should have been sad for him, but he slightly relished in that Zig wasn't great friends with that crowd. Zig might be a troubled teen, but the other kids at the party were _wrong_ for him. They weren't nice people. Miles realized how hypocritical that sounded coming from himself, but he just didn't trust them. They weren't like Zig. _His_ Zig.

"Then I'll be your friend. Hey, my name is Miles." He faked a child-like, chipper voice, jokingly extending his hand to Zig to shake it.

"Really? That's nice." Zig's voice cracked out sarcastically, but he laughed anyway. "Alright, Miles. My name is Zig. Howdy." He laughed.

Miles pulled his hand away, enjoying how their conversation could flow. With Zig, he felt an openness to just joke or even delve into serious conversations without judgement. There was a easiness to him.

"To be serious, I don't really know much about you. I'm sorry again for last night." He wasn't going to get all gushy, but he still suffered from some guilt.

"It's fine. But what do you want to know? I'm pretty dark and mysterious if I might say so myself." Zig couldn't hold back laughing at himself.

"Yeah, you're such a bad boy." Miles snickered. "But really, maybe we should get to know each other."

"Alright, pretty boy. Ask away."

"Why did Maya and Tristan stop being friends with you?" It was crass, but he truly wanted to know. Zig simply fascinated him.

"Someone got straight to the point...well I guess not straight..." Zig defused how awkward the question could have been with his humor. "Okay. I used to date her friend Tori, but that didn't turn out to well. Maya and I also had a thing, but she couldn't get over our friend Cam's suicide. It's pretty dramatic, but it's all in the past."

"But why stop being friends...you're not exactly a mean person."

"Well, I'm glad the person I made out with thinks so." Zig smiled another winning grin, before continuing. "It's...just hard for either of us to be around each other. We were the best of friends and felt too strongly for each other. Things happened and we changed."

"I can see that. I think she likes me because I'm nothing like either you or Cam."

"What about you is so different than me, pretty boy? We both drank from the same bottle last night." Zig teased him, but it was playful and in no ways mean.

"I might not be the most stable person, but I'm not Cam. I'm also not a jock."

"You tried out for the basketball team. That doesn't even make sense."

"I tried out because my father asked me to." He almost tripped over the word 'asked.' His father was never that polite; he demanded his soon to try out.

"Whatever. Let's just pretend that makes sense and you, Cam, and I are different people. I want to ask you a question."

"Shoot."

"What happened this morning with your friends?"

"Oh...that. They saw me looking at you."

"They saw you gawking at me." Zig sneered, fully knowing the power he held over Miles. It was to easy.

"Looking." He tried correcting Zig but to no avail. "Anyways, they think you're a bad influence on me."

"Maya isn't exactly innocent either."

Miles hadn't quite thought about that. In his mind, Maya was the perfect girlfriend that he could never have. He hadn't seen any flaws in her. But upon thinking about it, she wasn't in a position to judge either him or Zig. It's not like she never partied or had drunken hookups. Miles didn't even need to get into all the instances of her Facerange drama.

"I guess so. But that's why I asked what happened. Tristan's willing to gossip about you, but not give a good reason why they just ditched you."

"It doesn't really matter. They don't have to like me. I'm more interested in what you think." Zig offered a tender smile.

"I don't know what to say."

"Then just stay looking pretty."

Miles could only blush. "My friend Chewy knows about us."

Zig didn't looked angry or shocked; instead, he seemed glad. "I don't have a problem with that. Do Maya and Tristan know?"

"I don't know if I care to tell them." Miles shrugged.

"Fair enough. No, I mean I really care to tell the people that I haven't talked to in months." He spoke jokingly. "It doesn't matter to me if you tell, I just don't want this to be some casual, straight experiment."

"I really doubt I'm experimenting if I not only kissed you in the hallway, but am sitting by you for lunch." For a few seconds, they just stared at each other, a warmth glowing on their faces.

"This means a lot to me." Zig was just so sweet with him. Never before had anyone made Miles swoon. It was an openness he didn't even knew he had within him.

"So, does it really not matter to you if someone knows? When did you realize you were...interested in men?" Miles got slightly embarrassed, lowering his voice as if that mattered.

"I don't know if I was ever that interested in girls. I dated Tori because she was a pretty girl. That idea meant something to me at the time. Even with Maya, but I don't think I ever really liked her."

"Did you like Cam then?" Miles realized. It should have been obvious.

"Yes. But he was a crush." Maybe it had been more, but that was irrelevant now. Zig had Miles, living in the flesh, and too bashfully gorgeous for him to to ignore.

"What are we then?" Miles asked, still not quite knowing what to make of this whole situation. His mind had been sent through an emotional roller coaster, from fear to accepting the blossoming attraction he had towards Zig. He clung to the other boy's words.

"I want to be your boyfriend." He spoke plainly, as if that should already have been a given. Despite that, Miles was almost taken back by that.

"But you don't really know me...what is even interesting about me?"

Miles was terribly insecure about himself. He knew it must come from his father verbally battering him, but he still couldn't control those feelings. He constantly doubted himself. All of those girls he had toyed with had only been to make him feel less insecure, less like a shallow husk of a person. Despite that, when he was with Zig, he didn't feel like he was using the other boy. Something beautiful had been forged between the two of them, something that made Miles hope to become a better, more honest person.

"You're cute. Especially the way you hold yourself, very calm and reserved. It makes every time you blush or get sarcastic all the more interesting."

"You...can't have seen that." Miles was surprised.

"I might have really just started talking to you, but we've had months of school together this year."

Miles had never felt so clueless, so stuck in his own world. Of course Zig knew him. It's not like there was even that many other guys in their grade. After Paris and his relationships with women, he had somehow blinded himself to anyone outside of his close circle of friends.

"But what else? It can't be just because I'm cute." His mind returned to the conversation.

"You're also very smart. Very introspective. You're always thinking about the people around you and what to say, even if you don't actually say it. Also, I just like you." Zig gave him a playful wink.

"You just like me?"

"Our relationship can be just as simple as that."

Miles stopped mopping, turning away from his thoughts and just grinned at Zig. Maybe things could just be that simple; they held strong, almost unexplainable feelings for each other. They didn't have to over-think their relationship, especially since it barely had started.

"I'm sorry for being dramatic. Everything's just so new to me."

He needed to be honest, despite his reluctance to show cracks in his calm façade. It hadn't even been day since last night and Miles had been on so many mental tailspins. He really needed to just calm down.

"I can see. But I like you. I want to help."

"Can we...hang out sometime?" He wasn't usually this bashful.

If Zig had been any girl, he not only would have asked her out, but have made her confess her love to him by now. He respected and cared for Zig too much to ever do that.

"Why, what would you want to do with me...all alone in my bedroom?"

He laughed at Miles' reaction, but the rich teen still tensed up. He took him seriously, sending his body into another bout with fear. He couldn't quite handle that...yet.

Zig continued, seeing how Miles reacted. "I'm not being serious. I'm free later this week... how does Thursday sound?"

Miles inhaled, once again trying to calm himself. "Alright. What do you want to do?"

"Get wasted?" Zig tried feigning that he was serious.

"Okay, I can tell when you're joking now. So what do you want to do?"

"Watch a movie. Just hang out. It doesn't have to get less simple than that."

"I can handle that." Miles felt himself get cheerier.

He should hate himself for what he was doing, but being around Zig again reinvigorated him. He couldn't help but feel happy around the other boy. In a perfect world, there was just him and Zig, alone together at a lunch table in Degrassi. That world had no distractions, no pressures from his family or friends. He could simply coexist with Zig.

Despite a messy night of getting drunk, finding Zig had the power to transform him. He might no longer be afraid to become just Miles and not the Miles Hollingsworth III that people expected of him. Zig didn't have those expectations; he loved learning and unraveling who Miles was underneath that image.

With Zig, he had never felt more open...and somehow strong. There was a power in that pride.

* * *

AN: I really hope Ziles are becoming more believable as a couple. I find it hilarious I've written this despite that neither are gay nor do they even speak to each other on the show. That just makes it all the more fun. Thanks again for the reviews!


	5. Pleasant Dreams

Chapter 5: Pleasant Dreams

* * *

Miles sat in Perino's class, waiting for the detention to be over with. Zoë sat over to his right, permanently glaring daggers at him, but even she wouldn't get into more trouble with Perino. Her mother simply wouldn't allow that.

Chewy, after their talk earlier, no longer seemed angry about being here. He might be annoyed that Miles had gotten him into this, but he seemed...sympathetic. Chewy was working on his homework for the class, always diligent and studious. he was not only a good friend, but an even better student.

Mr. Perino might be sitting at the front of the class, eyeing them in case they goofed off, but he wasn't forcing them to study. Zoë wasn't even trying to do anything other than give him menacing stares. She made this detention bearable in how comically bad her facial expressions could be. Once again, she was proving the acting talent that had gotten her on West Drive...

Miles looked down at his notebook. He didn't have the energy to do any homework. Instead, he took up his pen, doodling to pass the time. He could have drawn anything...cars, basketball, even a dog.

Despite all of those potential subjects, there was only one thing...or person he felt compelled to draw. Miles didn't even notice that he was doing it until the sketch was almost finished, but his mind could only wander to Zig Novak.

A drawing of Zig smiled at him from the notebook page, better than anything Miles usually drew.

It would be an unbearably long wait until Thursday. If he kept this sudden artistic streak up, he probably would have sculpted a Louvre's worth of Zig sculptures by then. He eagerly looked forward to Thursday, but desperately needed to just calm down.

* * *

Thursday had finally arrived, slowly creeping itself up on Miles. He had practically counted the minutes until this date would happen. Each second ticked, dragging itself into the next.

"What are you getting all pretty for?" Miles' sister, Frankie teased.

Frankie and Miles both stood in his bathroom, which she had no reason to be in other than to taunt him. Nothing she could say could deflate how excited he was for tonight. His nerves almost cracked in just how ecstatic Zig made him feel.

"I'm meeting up with a friend." Like always, his words were simple, almost stubbornly vague. He wouldn't be going into detail about all the things he wanted to do with Zig Novak, especially with his kid sister.

Instead of joking further, she spoke, almost worried. "Just don't let dad find out you've been drinking."

Just like Chewy, Miles wondered why everyone in his life had to coddle him. He could be responsible especially for Zig. Despite that, they always expected the worse in him. It wasn't just his family but also his friends who thought so. he might get drunk but he was far from the addict they wanted him to be.

"I'm not going to a party." He looked smugly at her.

"Then where are you going? Is the great Miles Hollingsworth III going to live up to dad's expectations and care about school?"

He only returned her question with silence. Miles ran his fingers through his hair, more focused on getting it right than saying even the simplest hello to his sister. He couldn't handle her attitude; she was just as ridiculous as Zoë.

"I thought so. Unless Chewy is around, you're not studying tonight."

"I don't need him or you to mother me into studying."

"I wouldn't be concerned if I knew you weren't going to a party tonight."

"But I'm not." He paused from studying himself in the mirror, turning towards her.

"Miles, I'm just looking out for you. If dad asks, I'll say Chewy picked you up to study."

He almost couldn't believe her. She wanted to expect the worst of him. Miles just couldn't stand the know-it-all attitude she had; at least when Chewy looked out for him, his words came from a place of friendship. Frankie acted better than him.

"If you must know, I have a date." He held back the urge to grunt.

Frankie wasn't shocked. She only would have been if he had flat-out told her it was with a guy. Instead, she expected him to breaks the hearts of Degrassi's female population, as if it was as easy to him as breathing.

"Another one? Weren't you dating Zoë, then Maya? I don't even know who is left in your grade by now."

"I haven't brought every girl home." He side-eyed her.

"I guess there must be a couple of girls left in school who have somehow boarded themselves off from you. But I guess no one can escape the charm of the handsome Miles." She wasn't angry, but playfully sarcastic. Despite that, it annoyed him to no end.

He just wanted her to leave, so he snapped. Thinking about Zig clouded his thoughts from trying to hide his budding sexuality. "There are more than just girls at Degrassi!"

Those words were never less than clear, never less cutting. Honesty held power.

For a few moments, Miles had never seen his sister stunned into such a state of shock. She wasn't just surprised, but practically trembled after he yelled at her. "You...can't be serious. Are you?"

Instantly, Miles regretted lashing out at her. She was his sister; in this house, they were both victims of their father. She could get annoying, but she didn't deserve to be treated like that. If there was someone he could tell about Zig other than Chewy, it could only be her.

"I'm serious." He didn't know what else to say. He wasn't the best person to comfort someone.

Frankie not only seemed shocked, but worried for him. Her mind raced through what would happen if their father ever found out. She no longer cared about him drinking; somehow, Miles' desire for men mattered more. Even their father could have accepted a drunk Miles, but not that.

"He won't like this, Miles."

"I know, but I can't change." His voice came out calmly, more mature than it usually was towards his sister. These past few days, he felt like he had aged by years.

"I'm just scared for you."

"I'm scared too, but things can just continue on like they always do. Hide it from dad."

She became less nervous, her eyes locking onto his. Frankie loved to rile and tease him, but she still looked out for him nevertheless. "Tell me about this boy." There wasn't much else she could say.

"His name is Zig..." He continued, having an honest, open conversation with his sister for the first time he could remember.

Miles was transforming into a new, more mature version of himself: a person who wasn't afraid to date another boy. He might fight with his friends and sister, but he had been made all the stronger for it. He could never be the same Miles; it wasn't just dating Zig, but being forced into being open and proud of his sexuality that was changing him.

Zig was just the delicious reward for all that he had to deal with.

* * *

Miles pulled up to Zig's house, instantly realizing just how out of place he was. The Novak family obviously wasn't rich, but they lived in a used, almost decrepit part of town. It was nothing like the clean streets and white picket fences of Miles' life.

But still he opened the door, getting out of his car. He paused, wondering why he was still nervous. Miles had no right to be. He came from a life of privilege and despite his dad, he had everything he wanted. He shouldn't be this unstable. Zig not only didn't care about hiding his poverty, but also his sexuality. His pride was admirable.

Before he could even knock on the door, Zig opened it, beckoning him in. The other boy must have been eagerly awaiting him, watching for him to come in. It was charming really.

"Your place isn't that bad." Miles tried being nice.

"It's about to fall apart, Miles. But I won't be living here after Degrassi, so it doesn't matter." They just laughed at that.

"What do you want to do tonight?"

"Watch a horror movie? Snuggle against my big, strong chest?" He raised his hands.

"It's not that strong..." Miles fought back a grin.

"So you've never checked it out before? Or felt it..."

"Nope." Miles spoke, pretending to be innocent, but even he couldn't keep a straight face.

"Really?" Zig pulled him gently by the arm, wrapping the other boy on top of him on the couch. It came all too easy for the both of them; their bodies were so different, but fit together too well.

"Still nope." Miles continued.

Zig only responded by cradling Miles' head, pushing it against his chest. Instantly, Miles' nose became enamored by the Zig's musky scent.

Instead of even trying to speak coherently, all Miles could say was a long 'mmmmmm.' He didn't want to leave the warmth of his boyfriend's chest.

"I thought so." Zig smiled, cracking out a laugh.

"So where are your parents?" Miles nuzzled his nose against his chest before looking up at his boyfriend.

"Working at the convenience store. We're all alone tonight."

"So why aren't you working?"

"I think I had something more important tonight." Zig cusped Miles' chin, pushing his face up and tilting him into a kiss. It was quick and almost rabid.

Despite that, Miles shamelessly enjoyed it. The passion of Zig's kisses practically danced on his lips. Those kisses were something he didn't care to get greedy over; he practically hoarded Zig's touch.

"Okay." Miles spoke, giving one last kiss before pulling away. "What movie do you want to watch?"

"Well, a horor movie does sound good...and I picked an especially gay one." Zig prided himself in his pick.

"Like how gay? Like us making out on your couch all night kind of gay?" Miles snickered.

"Well, I didn't say that was a problem. We don't have any popcorn, so I'll need to snack on something." Again, he swiftly dove and pecked Miles' lips.

Finally, after several more rounds of kissing, which Miles certainly had no problem with, Zig continued. "I choose _Nightmare on Elm Street 2_."

"How bad is this movie going to be?" He playfully sighed.

"Amazingly bad. Somehow, they made a Freddy movie with a gay bar." Zig just smiled to himself.

"So it's completely and utterly...amazing?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I mean...it has such deep issues and character development."

Miles tried faking a stern face, his words dripping with sarcasm. "Because there's certainly a lot of character development at a gay bar."

"Don't forget about the deep issues." They both laughed.

"Okay, let's start this super serious movie."

Zig finally forced himself to get up and put in the movie, momentarily leaving behind his newfound pillow...or boyfriend. He returned, swooping Miles on top of him again so his arms could wrap around his body.

The movie flickered to life, cheesy 80s look and all. Miles had never seen such a bad movie in all the right ways. They certainly laughed throughout. Even though the movie was a slop-job, it related all too much to his own life. Like the main character of _Nightmare on Elm Street 2_, Miles struggled with becoming gay. Despite that, unlike him, Miles could admit and learn to love himself regardless. The main character in the movie, bad acting and all, didn't accept himself, and tried having a girlfriend.

Miles could never try doing that, especially with the warm, radiating body of his boyfriend holding him. Eventually, Miles fell asleep on the warmth of his boyfriend's body, half-way through the movie. Never before had he slept so peacefully, so lost in happiness.

Even in sleep, Miles could sense Zig tenderly play with his hair and trace circles on his body. Miles might have struggled accepting being gay and getting to this point, but it had never would have happened without Zig.

Miles was lost in pleasant dreams. Only Zig could have given him those.

* * *

AN: I hope that everyone is fine that I included Frankie. The character is supposed to appear in a couple of more episodes this season (and will probably become a regular by the next one). That being said, I had no idea how to write her. I'm going for whiny, but concerned. Also, I choose _Nightmare on Elm Street 2_ because it is a campy, fun horror film and its amazingly gay.

Thanks again for the reviews! Long live Ziles :)


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